|Quotes & anecdotes from "The Portable Curmudgeon"
I've neglected this box for far too long. We are up to the letter
"M." It starts off with quotes on Man.
The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases; one of its
diseases is called man. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Man is a puny, slow, awkward, unarmed animal.
I love mankind. It's people I can't stand. Charles Schulz
To succeed in the world, it is not enough to be stupid, you
must also be well mannered. Voltaire.
Life is a God-damned, stinking, treacherous game and nine hundred
and ninety-nine men out of a thousand are bastards.
Literature: proclaiming in front of everyone what one is careful to
conceal from one's immediate circle. Jean Rostand
For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.
London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers of the Empire
are irresistibly drained. Arthur Conan Doyle
London, like a bowl of viscid human fluid, boils sullenly over the rim of
its encircling hills and slops messily and uglily into the home counties.
The monstrous tuberosity of civilized life, the capital of England.
Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live
there? Herb Caen
A big hard-boiled city with no more personality than a paper cup.
Everything in Los Angeles is too large, too loud and usually banal in
concept...The plastic asshole of the world. William Faulkner
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you
play or not. Fran Lebowitz
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and
discovering that she looks like a haddock. John Barrymore
Love is the state in which man sees things most decidedly as they are
not. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
A temporary insanity curable by marriage. Ambrose Bierce
The delusion that one woman differs from another.
In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the Fifties to
get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the Sixties, to get a girl you had to be
black. In the Seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
One of you is lying. Dorothy Parker
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the
whole girl. Stephen Leacock
Many a man has fallen love with a girl in a light so dim he would not
have chosen a suit by it. Maurice Chevalier
It is a mistake to speak of a bad choice in love, since as soon as a
choice exists, it can only be bad. Marcel Proust
It's possible to love a human being if you don't know them too well.
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve the continuation of the
species. W. Somerset Maugham
The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it.
Boy Meets Girl. So What? Bertolt Brecht