|Quotes & anecdotes from "The Portable Curmudgeon"
The earth has a skin and that skin has diseases; one of its
diseases is called man. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Man is a puny, slow, awkward, unarmed animal.
I love mankind. It's people I can't stand. Charles Schulz
To succeed in the world, it is not enough to be stupid, you
must also be well mannered. Voltaire.
Manners are especially the need of the plain. The pretty can get away
with anything. Evelyn Waugh
He marries best who puts it off until it is too late. H.L. Mencken
All tragedies are finished by death. All comedies are ended by a
marriage. Lord Byron
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most
insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are
required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal and
exhausting condition until death do them part. George Bernard Shaw
A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through
the nose of the gentleman. Herbert Spencer
A friendship recognized by the police. Robert Louis Stevenson
The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get
married. Cyril Connolly
I got married the second time in the way that, when a murder is
committed, crackpots turn up at the police station to confess the
crime. Delmore Schwartz
It is often pleasant to stone a martyr, no matter how mch we admire
him. John Barth
There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned for an
opinion. Anatole France
Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as
mediocre as possible. Margaret Mead
The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics
and women are idiots. Rebecca West
Method acting? There are quite a few methods. Mine involves a lot of
talent, a glass and some cracked ice. John Barrymore
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman.
George Bernard Shaw
In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the Fifties to
get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the Sixties, to get a girl you had to be
black. In the Seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
One of you is lying. Dorothy Parker
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the
whole girl. Stephen Leacock
Many a man has fallen love with a girl in a light so dim he would not
have chosen a suit by it. Maurice Chevalier
It is a mistake to speak of a bad choice in love, since as soon as a
choice exists, it can only be bad. Marcel Proust
It's possible to love a human being if you don't know them too well.
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve the continuation of the
species. W. Somerset Maugham
The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it.
Boy Meets Girl. So What? Bertolt Brecht